"It's Good to be Alive" - Flash Mob by The Swingers Dance Studio.

Strumming her pain into my fingures

We live in a petty world. And before you know it, it gets pettier and pettier, till nothing but a flaming feeling which burns the best in you is left. What happens when people you know drifts away?

All you want is reconciliation. But the advice given, the comfort offered is all based on the traditional beliefs, even if people know you think otherwise. How can that help me? How do you expect me to look for understanding your efforts in my grief? Or is it me bane thinking otherwise?

I want to hold the memory untained, the words as said and understood. Because that is what matters. The world seems lonely without someone who understood me, my line of thinking and most importantly someone who helped me find my feet and to seek meaning and understanding.

It is lonely because everyone else judges me. Thinks of how ot affects them, what could come of it for them. Because she was never ever angry with me, ever. Not once she has raised her voice, not once has she told me to toe the line. She was happy with whatever i offered, whatever i achieved. 

Life threw so many things at her and yet she held her own and stood her ground. I haven't met a more open minded person and doubt i ever will. She never forced a belief on to anyone. Her world has windows, which didnot have glass or grills but were left open. 

It isn't just all those happy memories. It is also the way she listened to me when i was very depressed. Through my rebellion, through everything she trusted me and encouraged to make my own choises in life.

This is the most painful thing i have written because she more is, but was. And as my tears hit the keyboard, I miss her.