July 22 2013, 3:30 AM
Loud alarm sound broke my train of thoughts and I was vivified from my
semi-sleep state. Filled with excitement and nervousness I switched off the
other alarms which I turned on last night, just in case. It was cold and
drizzling and I felt a new surge of strange high spirited ecstasy. Four days
ago, She left to Bangalore with her college mates and there I was sitting in
college and talking about movies and songs. Today, I regret liking Tamil movies;
I hate Maniratnam and Gautham Menon. I somehow feel they both are the reasons
for me writing paragraphs about my life instead of texting her happily after
college. I blame them completely.
Bloody liars.
I decided I have to do something
profound to escape the friend zone and sweep her off her feet. I love her and i
miss her. No proper texting since she left to Bangalore and was having fun with
her ‘college friends’ getting drenched in the rain and doing crazy stuff. And
meanwhile I was here in Chennai attending dance class and thinking about her,
longing to text her but instead I was boring her. Here is the thing about boys,
they can flirt, impress, amuse any girl they want but once they start liking
someone beyond the kerb, they becomes a humdrum jerk and their magic will not
workout. I tried not to be a humdrum and engaged myself with work. My
occasional texts to her ended with a “brb” reply. So this is what I was doing
those three days: Wake up; good morning text and a short chat saying have fun; dance
class; back home by night. After that it was trance; hypnotized by thoughts
about her dimples. I just close my eyes and I can see her smiling at me. I
approach her and whisper “I love your smile and I love you too” and then its
all smoke and I’m lost in the sandstorm.
I
look up at the velvety blackness of the sky
And
I see stars adorning nights dress so bright
Even
diamonds may feel shy
And
then I see one
That
breaks free and shoots to
I
know not where
Oh
little star!
Will
you take my wish to her who is far
Tell
her that I am
Just
a little lonely here….
As these thoughts flash through my head while bathing, I come
out with the same high spirited ecstasy. I check my watch. It says 3:45AM.
After drinking the coffee my mom made, I say bye to my parents and take my backpack
and mount my Pulsar 180. I glance at my dad and say sorry without opening my
mouth. I lied to him that I am going to a factory in Vellore regarding college
work and that Sabari and Manoj sir are accompanying me.
Seriously? Factory? LOL! I am heading to
Bangalore man!!
Almost 350kms!
In bike!
All alone!
For her!
“Is it stupid? Am I mad? “
“Seriously its fucking crazy what you are doing!
Its raining man! Why are you doing this? Get back home!”
“No I can’t go back home! What will I tell my dad?”
“Tell him that Manoj sir fell sick!”
“No dude! I’m going. No matter what! I know this is crazy! And I’m never gonna
let my craziness get lazy!”
“You are a jerk! What are you gonna gain?”
“I don’t know. May be nothing. But she has to know that I am ready to do the
craziest stuff for her. “
“Do whatever the fuck you want!”.
With that my mind gave up arguing with me and I am riding on
NH4 at 85kmph.
